Hi friends,
This post is inspired from my life with my son for the past 3 months. During this time, I stayed with my son almost all the time. I can say, for the past 5 years, I don't really spent this much time with him, just this time, I stayed with him all the time, 24/7.
During this time, I really take this time to teach my son to be more independent like eating by himself without I need to be in table all the time, go to toilet by himself, mandi by himself and more. I am so happy to see that he can do almost everything on his own now and I feel such a relief.
As he reached 5 years old last week, my heart feels a little heavier. Not in a sad way but in that deep, reflective way motherhood often brings. As I mentioned, I've been watching my son do more things on his own. He’s becoming more independent feeding himself without asking for help, choosing which clothes to wear, running ahead of me when we go for walks. He’s still little, but I can already see how fast he’s growing.
And while part of me beams with pride… the other part aches quietly.
I didn’t expect it to feel this way. I thought I’d be happy to finally get some breathing room, to see him thriving and growing. And I am so proud, so grateful. But I’ve also realized that motherhood is a constant lesson in letting go.
Letting go of control.
I used to plan everything down to the minute. But with a growing child, those plans often unravel. And now I’m learning to be more flexible, to embrace the chaos, and to trust him to explore even when it means scraped knees or messes on the floor.
Letting go of perfection.
I’ve stopped trying to be the “perfect mom.” There’s no such thing. What matters more is being present. Being kind. Saying sorry when I mess up. Listening when he speaks. Holding him even when I feel tired and unsure myself.
Letting go of fear.
This is the hardest. I fear the world he’ll grow up in. I fear making the wrong decisions. But I remind myself daily that faith is stronger than fear, and that my job isn’t to shield him from life, but to walk beside him as he faces it.
As we head into a new week, I want to hold on to this truth:
My son is growing and so am I.
And even though I’ll always be his mama, I’m slowly learning to step back, give him space, and cheer him on as he becomes who he’s meant to be.
If you’re also in this season of letting go, I see you. It’s not easy but it’s sacred.
How has your parenting changed as your child grows?
I’d love to hear your reflections, just hit reply or share your thoughts in the comments.
With love,
Aya of Borneo Working Mom
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