Being a Working Woman in Malaysia: What I’ve Learned Along the Way

Yesterday, I walked into a leadership meeting without my manager. Normally, she would be there with me. But yesterday, she couldn't make it. And honestly, I was a little nervous.

Not because I didn't know what I was doing. I knew what I needed to bring to the discussion. I knew the project, the issues and the things that needed to be discussed.  Then I looked around, everyone in the room was a man. And I realised I was the only woman there.

For a moment, I thought, Okay… let's do this.

And you know what?

It went well.

I joined the discussion. I shared my thoughts. I listened. I asked questions when I needed to. And somewhere in the middle of the meeting, I realised I wasn't nervous anymore.

I was just doing my job. I walked out of that meeting feeling quite proud of myself because I was the only woman in the room and somehow, that small moment made me think about my journey as a working woman.

I've been working for a long time

I've been working for many years now. Long enough to have experienced different workplaces, different bosses, different teams and different kinds of people.

I've had good experiences, I've had difficult ones too.

I've worked with people who made me feel confident in myself, and I've also had moments that made me question whether I was good enough. I think that's just part of working life.

But being a woman has sometimes made me look at certain situations a little differently. Not necessarily because someone was intentionally treating me differently. Sometimes it's just the expectations we carry ourselves.

The feeling that we need to prove ourselves. The feeling that we need to be competent, professional, dependable and somehow still pleasant at the same time. And I think many women will understand what I mean.

I used to think confidence meant knowing everything

Earlier in my career, I thought confident people were the ones who always had the answer. They spoke quickly, they seemed sure about everything and they weren't afraid to say what they thought.

So I thought I needed to become that kind of person. But the older I get, the more I realise that confidence is actually much simpler. Sometimes confidence is being able to say,

“I don't know. Let me check.”

Sometimes it's asking a question even when you're worried it might sound silly. Sometimes it's disagreeing respectfully. And sometimes, it's simply walking into a room without your manager and trusting yourself to handle it.

Yesterday reminded me of that.

I also learned that being quiet doesn't mean being invisible

I'm not always the loudest person in a meeting. And I've realised I'm okay with that. I don't need to speak just because everyone else is speaking. But when I have something useful to contribute, I want to be able to speak up.

For me, that's what being confident at work looks like now. Not trying to dominate the room, not trying to prove that I'm smarter than anyone else.

Just knowing that my experience and perspective have value too.

Then motherhood came into the picture

Being a working woman became a little different after becoming a mother. Suddenly, my career wasn't the only thing I had to think about. There was a little person waiting for me at home.

There were school matters, meals, laundry, family responsibilities and all the little things that somehow never make it onto a job description.😂

Sometimes I would finish a full day of work and think, Okay, my working day is done.

And then I remembered…Oh wait.

I'm a mom.

Round two begins. But becoming a mother didn't make me stop wanting a career. If anything, it made me appreciate my independence and my work even more.

I want to be there for my child.But I also want to grow.

I want to learn.

I want to contribute.

I want to have something that is mine.

And I don't think those two things have to cancel each other out.

I've learned that having a good manager matters

One thing I've become more appreciative of over the years is having people who trust you. A good manager doesn't just tell you what to do. Sometimes, they give you enough space to figure things out yourself.

They allow you to speak.

They trust you to represent the team. And eventually, they help you realise that you are more capable than you thought. That's probably why yesterday felt different. My manager wasn't there. But the confidence I had walking into that room didn't come from nowhere.

Some of it came from the experience I've built. Some of it came from the people who have trusted me. And some of it came from simply surviving all those moments in my career when I wasn't sure of myself.

I don't think I've “made it”

I still have plenty of doubts.

I still have days when I question myself.

I still have things I don't know.

I still have a lot to learn.

And honestly, I don't think there is a point in a career where you suddenly feel like you've figured everything out. Maybe that's not the point.

Maybe the point is becoming a little more comfortable with yourself along the way.

A few years ago, walking into a room full of senior people without my manager might have made me overthink everything.

Yesterday, I was nervous for a while.

Then I got on with it. And that's growth too.

So, what have I learned?

I think I've learned that being a working woman isn't about trying to prove that we are better than anyone else. It's about knowing our own value, it's about being willing to learn, it's about speaking when we have something to say, it's about being okay with not knowing everything, it's about finding people who support us. And it's about continuing to grow, even when life outside of work is just as demanding.

Especially as a working mom, I know there will always be days when I feel like I'm not doing enough. Not enough at work, not enough at home, not enough for myself. But maybe we're being too hard on ourselves. Maybe doing our best doesn't always have to look impressive. Sometimes, doing our best looks like showing up for the meeting, finishing the work, going home to our kids, making dinner, doing the laundry and somehow getting through another day.

Yesterday, I walked into that leadership meeting alone. I was a little nervous. I was the only woman in the room. But I didn't feel like I didn't belong. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And when I walked out, I had this small thought:

Maybe I've come further than I give myself credit for.

And honestly?

That felt really good. ❤️