Just like last year, I celebrated Mother's Day at church together with our church community. I am grateful for this thoughtful event. I even wear my beautiful kebaya on this special day. I love the kebaya so much.
I smiled when people wished me "Happy Mother's Day" but deep inside, I feel emotional in a way I could not explain.
Maybe because my motherhood feels very different because I am working mom.
People sees us going to work everyday, attending meetings, replying to messages, handling responsibilities and trying to survive another busy week. From the outside, it may look normal.
But behind all that, there is also a mother silently carrying exhaustion, guilt, pressure, love and responsibility all at the same time.
For me as working mom, everyday feels like a race against time.
Wake up early.
Prepare everything before work.
Think about deadlines.
Reply to emails and messages.
Attend meetings.
Rush home again.
Continue with household responsibilities.
Spend time with my child, trying my best to keep up.
Then repeat the same routine the next day.
Sometimes, I feel tired before the day even begins.
There are days when my child wants my full attention but my mind is still thinking about unfinished work and its urgent.
There are also days when I am physically at work but my heart keeps wondering whether my child has eaten properly, slept well or misses me.
That guilt follows many working mom quietly.
People always say mothers are strong but honestly, sometimes we are just trying our best not to break down from exhaustion.
Some nights, after everyone sleeps, I sit quietly and wonder if I am doing enough or sometimes, I feel so tired, after I take a bath, I just straight go to sleep, don't care about anything anymore. I feel so tired especially on the day the public transport breakdown or the traffic jammed is so heavy...
I always wondering whether I am give
enough love
enough time
enough presence.
Being a working mom often feels like being divided into many pieces every single day. And the hardest part is that many mothers carry these feeling silently.
We continue functioning.
We continue smiling.
We continue showing up for work and family even when our minds and bodies feel exhausted.
Not because we are superwomen. But because our love for our children and family is bigger than our tiredness.
Motherhood changed me in ways I never expected.
Before becoming a mother, I thought strength meant being independent and handling everything alone. Now I realize strength can also mean waking up tired but still choosing to contine because someone small depends on you.
This Mother's Day, I did not celebrate perfection. I celebrated survival!
I celebrated every working mom who still wakes up every morning despite being mentally and physically exhausted.
I celebrated mothers who quietly sacrifice their rest, energy, emotions and time every single day without expecting appreciation.
And to every working mom reading this,
If you have ever felt guilty, overwhelmed, tired or emotionally drained, please know that you are not alone. You are not failing. You are simply carrying many responsibilities while still trying to give love the best way you can.
And honestly, that itself is already something beautiful.
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers especially the working mom silently trying their best every day.
Even if nobody say it enough, you are appreciated more than you know.
Here are some photos during the celebration.
Love,
Aya
Borneo Working Mom
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